“I’m Fine” By: Michele King
“Im Fine”- 2 Simple words
the child in me would hide behind.
How are you?
“Im Fine”, I would say.
Is everything okay?
But “Im Fine” was just
a l i e.
It was easier to say than
“Im Not Okay.”
Im Fine- I thought I was being
Hid the pain.
“Im Fine.” Allowed me to ignore
the volcano of emotions
waiting to erupt inside.
As I would push back the tears
and the lump in my throat would grow.
And that’s when I knew I wasn’t fine.
But I would be,
I wrote this because as a child and in part of my young adult life I would use rote answers, like “I’m fine” to essentially hide behind. Typically when I would say I was fine, there was a lot more going on inside but I was afraid to let it all come out. I didn’t really know how to even begin to talk about what I was feeling or why I was feeling it.
Saying “Im Fine” meant that I wouldn’t have to address any of the “feelings soup” I was sitting in. I wouldn’t have to put in the work on myself, I could continue to hide a little more and ignore my own issues, stay where I was comfortable.
I also think I wanted to protect the people close to me and I didn’t want to create any conflict. I didn’t think they would understand or would be able to handle my feelings and I didn’t want to hurt theirs in the process.
Later on though, I realized just how important it is to share how you are feeling and the people who genuinely listen and stick around are the ones worth having by your side.
This is important for me to share because I know I can’t be the only person who has ever felt this way. I want to encourage people out there who are afraid to talk about what they are feeling or going through, no matter how hard it may be, to start having those conversations.
Is it hard digging into that soup of feelings? Yes. Is it hard to start those conversations? Yes. Is it worth is? ABSOLUTELY!
Through digging your hands into your mess and talking about it with someone you trust you find healing and compassion and give others a chance for those things as well.
You matter. Your feelings are important and if something matters to you, then it MATTERS.
So, I encourage those who would normally hide behind a simple “Im Fine” or other rote answer (take your pick) to start a conversation that matters. If you need a safe place I am here to listen.